The List: 6) Jacques

If there was any guy on this list who would be described as “the one who got away”, it would be Jacques.

Jacques and I met actually because he was my Uber driver lol I know. The day we met I was having an interesting day. I just realized that Ricardo was a waste of my time and was on the prowl for his replacement. I don’t chase ’em. I replace ’em. I was leaving work one day and I was heading towards 34th street. I decided to take an uber car, because well why not. When I got to the car, my first thought was “Damn this driver is fine”. Dude had a nice caramel complexion, a beard, a short tapered mini fro type thing where he had some curlies at the top, and lips to die for. His accent was fucking beautiful, instant panty dropper. I don’t know how it is where you guys are from, but in NY cab drivers love to talk to you. However this time I just felt lusty talking to this cab driver lol. Everything about him was just niiicee. We talked and I found out his ex used to work at the same place I was working at the time, he’s from the Cameroon, and he’s a young guy. I have to be completely honest. I was having an internal debate as to whether or not I should ask him for his number, then he asked me first. I gave him my number and we talked more. He kept looking back to look at me and he kept grabbing his crotch which I later learned is him trying to hide his boner. Summer of 2014 was all about taking chances and new experiences, so I could not pass up a chance to talk to him.

Over the next week or so, we talked every now and then. Nothing major,but enough to keep the interest. One day he wanted to pick me up and drive me to work, but I was already at work unfortunately. One Saturday night we decided that we would go out. Now here’s the thing. Although I am 21, I still live with my parents. So trying to leave the house at 10pm, just did not work for me at all. I had to cancel, but he was basically already at my house. So we ended up walking around my neighborhood, getting to know each other, holding hands, and kissing. Then it started to lightly rain and it was disgustingly cute. We did some things in his car and he went home. Let’s just say I made him cum without touching him.

About a week later he picked me up from work and we went to his place. We did the sex. It was great. Some of those myths about African men are very true lol. After we did it, we just laid in the bed and talked. He played me French hip-hop since we have similar taste in music. I love hip-hop. While he played it, he would pause it and translate every verse to me. Do you have any idea what that does to me? I think I was falling in love. We then watched tv and joked about life. It was fun.

After that day he barely hit me up. It was like he was there and then he was gone. He stopped responding to any of my messages, calls, and voice mails. This is where I fucked up. I turned into “That Girl” who sent a paragraph-long “I’m over you” message. Yes I did and I’m slightly ashamed. I eventually gave up. Right before I left to London, he called me, but nothing really came from the conversation.

In conclusion, Jacques is the one who got away. He was just what I wanted, but he didn’t want me. That of course sucked, but I had to move on.

The List: 5) Ricardo [Part 2]

Before you get all antsy to read this one, why don’t you head over to Part 1 to start from the beginning.

Ricardo really wanted me to be his girlfriend or his “woman” from the first time he met me. This was flattering, but also very alarming. See I’m the type of girl who gets to know you first to make sure I can tolerate your hangups. With all my relationship and emotional issues, I was a little taken aback at how forward he was. I liked it until it got annoying. I never felt Ricardo knew enough about me to decide to be with me without my input. For me it’s the little things that matter like favorite color, favorite food, pet peeves, etc.

On the second occasion Ricardo and I “hung” out we ended up having sex. I didn’t prepare for it, but I wasn’t afraid either. I just wanted him to know that he was “deflowering” me. MY FIRST TIME WAS GREAT! You always hear these horror stories about girls losing their virginity. It hurt a little, but once he got past a threshold it felt AMAZING. It was like this was the moment I was preparing myself for. We enjoyed each other. We cuddled and shit after. He shared some scary details about his past. After we were done and saw that I was bleeding, I then realized he didn’t pay attention to anything I said about being a virgin before we started. He kept talking about not wanting to take girl’s virginity because then she would be all over him and nag him. I guess he was concerned that I would become clingy. That was all I needed to hear. See the issue with me is that once I sense apprehension towards me I fall back quickly. So I didn’t speak to him for like two weeks after I lost my virginity. I didn’t want to be seen as a clingy chick.

Like I said in the previous post he worked a lot, so I barely got to see or talk to him. One time I was supposed to go to his place and he wasn’t even home. Lucky for me, I don’t leave until a plan is set. Another time I spent the night and he asked me to cook for him. I had a huge issue cooking for him because he was a complete ass to me. If you claim to be my boyfriend, then you need to understand I need attention. He was not giving me any attention. I cooked him a shitty meal. We had shitty sex. I left early in the morning because I had to go to work. This guy didn’t give me a towel to shower with or even a shirt to sleep in. When I left I got a text that I got water on the floor in the bathroom. Well bitch! If you had given me a fucking towel the floor would not have been wet. I was over him. I had already wasted enough time on him. After “breaking” up with him, I kept my distance. I texted him sometimes and the conversation was always “you sucking my dick?” You can imagine how annoyed I was.

It’s weird I think he sold himself short by trying to shove his dick down my throat. I’m the kind of girl who can upgrade you if you treat me right. I got tips and tricks and I know enough people. I’m smart and I know how to work the system. Wishing that he was a different person blinded me from recognizing his true colors. I’m not going to front though. If the opportunity arises I will fuck him again. His dick was just so good.

The List: 5) Ricardo [Part 1]

If you were a little bored by Spencer, then Ricardo should pique your interests.

I met Ricardo online just as I returned home from school. Side Note: I took a brief hiatus from OkCupid around March. From the first message I received from Ricardo, he was a little aggressive. I liked it though. Things with Spencer were imaginary and by this time I had went on that terrible date with Ian. I pretty much had no hoes. I like to keep one or two on deck, but I had none. So here came Ricardo waltzing in. By the third message, he already gave me his number and wanted me to text him. I appreciated his forwardness, something I hoped would continue throughout our little “stint”. So we texted and he wanted me to come to his new place. I had some career moves to work through so I had to put Ricardo on ice for awhile. I was very honest with him about where I was at that point in my life. He understood my viewpoint because he was also an ambitious college student. I liked Ricardo. I liked that he had his own thing going on and we were both working towards similar goals. Here is where I show you that I’m a lowkey snob. I attend a very good school in New England, very difficult to get in. He, contrastly, went to a low-tier community college, like one of the lows of the lows. His “new place” was in the projects. He was a few years older than me, but I tried not to judge. Because let’s be honest, he was doing a lot better than I was, independence-wise of course.

When I finally went over, he was extremely glad to see me. I knew that he wanted me, but being there physically with him solidified my notions. Now Ricardo is an attractive guy, borderline fine as hell. He’s about 6’2/3, a cute mustache, and a strong build with beautiful dark skin. Most of all, I felt warm in his arms which is odd for two reasons. 1) I’m a big girl and I need to feel protected when I’m with a guy. I hate being the big spoon. 2) I was basically emotionally constipated at that point. While at his place he tried to get me to have sex with him. I was still a virgin. I said no. I did suck his very large penis, but I stopped. I didn’t feel good doing it. It felt like I was trying to please him without really knowing anything about him. I knew he wanted me to be his girl, but that was all I knew about him. So I ended up leaving. He wanted to eat me out, but it was a loooong day. I wasn’t smelling the best and it was the summer.

Ricardo worked A LOT during the summer. He was so busy; he had no time for me. While he was so busy, he wanted me to continue to act as if he was my boyfriend. Ricardo never took the time to figure out my likes and dislikes; he just wanted me to suck his dick and tell him that this pussy was his. I knew everything I needed to know about Ricardo.

This post is longer than I anticipated so there will be a Part 2. If you were paying attention and playing connect the dots, then you will see at the beginning that I said I was a virgin. Well Ricardo is the fellow who I gave my virginity to. I don’t regret this at all. More details to come later.

The List: 4) Spencer

Can we be honest for a second? This little blog here is giving me so much happiness. Y’all don’t even know.

Now onto Spencer…….

Spencer is my first white guy. Yup that’s right. I like to dabble in the swirl. Spencer was all about the anticipation and the “what ifs”. We always had plans and intentions to meet up, but they never actually happened. The first time he was supposed to come to my school and “hang out”. He never came and said that something came up. Yeah he felt bad, but I was like whatever. The second time he was supposed to come I chickened out and claimed that something came up. I know!! Things were getting childish. I believe we met around March or April. He lived pretty close to my university, but I knew that I was soon returning home. Because I was going home, I knew whatever we had was short-lived. We kept in contact over the summer, but it was mostly cyber-sexual if you catch my drift.

We did a lot of sexting, phone sex, and exchanging of pictures. It was weird. We didn’t spend much physical time together, but I trusted him. I usually don’t do such things with people, and I don’t recommend doing that. Spencer and I eventually fell  a part, especially once I went to London. It was then I knew he was done with me. We were both playing games and neither one of us wanted to continue. I actually tried to get rid of Spencer many times during our little “affair” and he would not stay away for good. It was a very weird game we were playing. One thing I did appreciate about Spencer was his acceptance of my love for Drake.

The List: 3) Chris

Chris is the most elusive of any guy on this list. We met on OkCupid. We chatted for awhile and over the course of our conversations I learned that we both wanted more of a sexual relationship. Since it was more sexual and my ego was still shot from Marquis, I was okay with the arrangement. We had been talking about meeting up and “getting to know each other”. Finally we chose a time and date that worked best for us. We ended up meeting the night right before my birthday. There was nothing spectacular about Chris. He was a regular guy who was cute. Chris was/is (not completely sure) in the military and also had a nice body (great ass and thighs). He was black and Puerto Rican.

On the night I turned 21, I can happily say I was receiving the best head I have ever had. When Chris came over, I barely remembered his name, but I was prepared for whatever was going to happen. We had some dranks and got to business. He initiated because I was clearly a little nervous. No amount of Angry Orchards and witty banter could have prepared me for my first one night stand, sexual escapade, sexy time with a stranger, etc. You get my point. So he got on my bed and literally in one fell swoop my shirt was off, my body was in a completely different position, and his lips were on mine. He had really nice lips and kissed extremely well. He then took my pants off. Yes he did dine below. and Yes it was amazing. Chris’ dick was the first one I had ever sucked and apparently I was pretty good at it. Don’t be so shocked. I’m a late bloomer and an undercover freak. I watched porn for awhile for techniques and what-not.

By the time he left I was 21. I enjoyed myself. It felt good to do something for me. I wished my friends did a better job of celebrating my 21st birthday. However I later learned my “friends” kind of sucked and weren’t really interested in me or things that concerned me. When I told my close friend the next day, she judged me for being promiscuous. I didn’t give too many fucks how she felt because I watched her let multiple really good guys go. She let some gorgeous, black, smart, ambitious men slip from her fingertips because of her immaturity. Her judgmental opinions were invalid.

I didn’t hear much from Chris after that, but that was ok. He served his purpose.