Ohhh Ian. You know how there are some people or relationships or things in your life that you wished never happened? That’s Ian.
I met Ian the summer of 2013, right after I had just turned 20. Ian was the first older guy I dated, coming in at a whopping 30. To be completely honest, Ian just caught me on a really good day. I was leaving work; I looked really cute and I had plans for the rest of the day. I was just in a really good mood. As I was walking down the block to the train station, a man was sitting in his car and was like “wow”. I concluded that he was referring to me. I smiled. We engaged in witty banter (since it’s my only party trick) and I gave him my number. Now usually I don’t give my number out to people in the street and I also do not usually talk to men in cars. I’m all for branching out and doing something different, but don’t be me. Don’t be stupid. When I met him, it was about August and I was heading back to school soon. I was very upfront about this. We ended up going on a date. It was my first ever real date. He took me to some pier in Brooklyn and it was super cute. Being by the water, getting to know one other, etc. Very romantic. He was a terrible kisser (too much tongue) and full of himself. Unfortunately as you’ll see I always seem to attract men with displaced entitlement. Aside from those things, he wasn’t too bad.
Between the date and my return to school, I got really busy and I was doing some traveling. So we didn’t get to hang. What was most alarming to me was that he would send 5 and 6 paragraph long text messages at a time to me about his feelings for me. WHOA BABY!!! PUMP THE BRAKES!!! You literally just met me and we went on one date. He thought he was being proactive. I thought he was being pushy. He was easy to use. I was very rude in hopes that he would dislike me and my disgusting attitude, but it took forever to work. One day after being fed up with him, I went off. Words like “I don’t really like you”, “you’re a waste of time”, and “I don’t care about your feelings” were said. Listen I know that I was a bitch. No need to remind me. Also at the time I was dealing with a lot of personal issues, so I wasn’t exactly emotionally stable.
Fast forward to Valentine’s Day 2014. He texted me and we started talking again. By the way I did apologize to him for being a bitch. He didn’t deserve that. I didn’t apologize for getting my point across. He was fucking dense. So when I came home for the summer break, he was the first guy I was dealing with. This second date with Ian came after almost 10 months of not seeing each and after Marquis stood me up. So I was apprehensive to say the least, and I was also on the brink of giving up on men. He was an hour and a half late picking me up. When I finally saw him, I remembered how much I disliked him. He always seemed slimey to me. Now when I met Ian, he was a big and tall. Read: Fat and about 6’4. This time around he appeared to have gained about 40 pounds in all the wrong places and he looked sad. I don’t really judge too much when it comes to size. Side note: I’m also a little shallow. However it suddenly felt like I was supposed to be the happiness in his life and I wasn’t even too happy with myself. It was a burden I was not prepared for. Needless to say it didn’t work. On the date I knocked back an entire Long Island Iced Tea and giggled my way through the night. I didn’t kiss him, half-ass hugged him, and let him know that it wouldn’t work. I’m pretty sure he hates me now lol, In fact I know he does. Last I heard he was engaged. I think he was lying to get back at me. He doesn’t understand how much I never cared.