A guy recently came back into my life and I like him enough to know that I want to get know him AND have sex with him. I enjoy our conversations and he is REALLY cute. We can engage in that witty banter where I want to slap him, but I also want to kiss him. Don’t mind me. I’m a little weird. He does all the right things. He texts me first, texts me at appropriate times, makes an effort, and challenges me. Even with these great things, he always texts me and falls asleep or puts his phone down. I’m like “Thanks for thinking of me, but finish the conversation please”. We even joke about that, but recently he just stopped all communication.

I tried really hard to act like I didn’t care, but that threw me for a loop. Granted: I did sort of “go off” or as we call it “black” on him via text message. Here’s how it went down: He texted me first per usual and we were engaging in a conversation about random shit. I decided to spice the conversation up and ask him questions to get more “interesting” answers. I knew it was reaching the time he passes out, but the conversation was just getting started so I thought he would be ok. WRONG! He didn’t respond for like FORTY MINUTES. So I sent a message along the lines of “If I asked you a sexual question, you would respond?” I know. I know. That was not necessary. I was so annoyed though. I had already invited him to my place twice and both times he responded too late for him to actually come over. I don’t know about you all, but for me I can’t allow men to come to my place of residence after 12am. Only crazy things happen at those times and since I like him I also need him to respect me. I wish he was evolved enough to respect me even if I sleep with him on the first night, but he’s not so we have to use alternative plans. It just felt like I was trying and he wasn’t. I liked him so much that I didn’t want to come off too strong, but let it creep up on him. There is something about him that makes me more emotional than necessary.

I thought I was handling this swift curve well until last night. I had a dream that my friend was dating a guy and they were doing what couples do. They were kissing and being cute n shit, but then I separated them. I threw a tantrum and made a scene just so that they wouldn’t be together. I finally blurted out “I’m jealous! It’s not fair!” That’s when I knew I wasn’t handling this too well. Because you have to understand something. I don’t get jealous. I see something I don’t like, try my best to accept, and move on. This is how I have lived my life. Things don’t bother me.I also don’t cause scenes; I just walk away. I guess it also doesn’t help that another guy also did the same thing to me a few weeks ago. What makes me so mad is that I started 2015 off so great. I adopted a new approach and decided to take things slow, but I still got played. Maybe I should just go back to fucking around, at least then my feelings didn’t get hurt.

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