They Said This Would Be Fun………They Lied

So I am in the last stretch of my senior year of college and I am always sad. Even when I’m happy, it’s temporary. I am always in a state of melancholy, like the wrong phrasing of words could make me cry at any moment. I read somewhere that college causes stress-induced anxiety. It’s like something is always wrong. Nothing is ever settled. I never get a chance to breathe without worrying about something. I have worked extremely hard these past few years. I studied abroad at a world-renowned university. I did everything right and yet I have faced obstacle after obstacle. I. did. everything. right. Do you know what that means? I was the “good girl”. I went to school, did my homework, stayed out of trouble, didn’t get pregnant, went to a top school, studied abroad, had an internship while I was abroad, but it doesn’t feel like enough. I do not feel like I am enough. I don’t have a job. A job offer. A job interview. A job prospect. I have nothing. Was my $100,000 student loan debt worth it? I don’t know. I’m in this gray place right now. There is clear happiness in my life and I have a lot to be grateful for. However I am emotionally fragile, like I just want to be wrapped in my mother’s arm right now.

3 thoughts on “They Said This Would Be Fun………They Lied

  1. Danielle Nicole says:

    I am graduating in May too and feel the exact same way! I have so much to be thankful for…however I spent all day today crying on and off I am just so nervous for whats to come. It’s a huge adjustment and I know how you feel 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Annie says:

    Start focusing on your next steps. What are your goals? What are your dreams? Taking action on how you want to move forward is the best way to stop worrying about it and you’ll start moving in the right direction. You can do it!

    Liked by 1 person

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