New Year’s Resolutions!!

Last year, I was not fucking with resolutions for the new year at all. Things were going well; plans were in motion. Then life happened. Clearly I knew nothing, because has been properly kicking my ass. From returning to the states after studying abroad in London, ensuring that I graduate college on time, and attempting to figure out post-grad life, this roller coaster has been a wild to say the least. With that being said, this year I will make some resolutions for the coming new year. They are #lifegoals that I would like to set for myself in preparation for the future. No, life does not always pan out the way you want it to, but that does not mean you can’t prepare yourself for life’s curve balls.

So below I will list some of my New Year’s Resolutions:

  • Get Healthy – Mentally, Physically, and Spiritually
    • I truly believe that all three of these play off of each other. If one of these is off-balanced, then everything is off-balanced. How do I know? I’m pre-diabetic and my life is a mess lol.
  • Get Published
    • I would love to see my writing published on a blog.
  • Be More Social
    • After graduating and moving back home, I found any and every reason to distance myself from people under the guise that I was “figuring things out”. No more excuses.
  • Volunteer/Work with an Organization Geared towards Black Women and Girls
    • When I die, I want them to say this was my life’s work and I have to start somewhere
  • Solidify a Career Trajectory
    • Six months out of college means it’s time that I get a plan in motion. A plan, not the plan. We can’t be wandering ducks out here.
  • Read More!
    • I love reading, but I don’t make nearly as much as time for it as I should.
  • Get my license and Get A Car
    • They go hand-in-hand and will definitely happen
  • Move Out of My Parent’s House
    • Lord knows I’m dying of suffocation in that house. Financially it is the best decision and living at home gives me the room to figure life out, however parents will always be parents.
  • Travel
    • I want to see the world and there’s only one way to do that – get out and do it.

That’s what I hope to accomplish for the year, but I also hope to establish some lifelong, healthy lifestyle practices in the meantime.

What are some of your New Year’s Resolutions?resolutions-2016

What’s The Greatest Gift? Honesty

Of all the things one could ask for, honesty is definitely not at the top of the list. I could truly enjoy an endless bank account, an all-expenses paid trip to Dubai with first-class seats, and a Birkin bag. I’m a renaissance woman who likes nice things. However honesty is extremely important. Especially since my life is changing every time I trim my edges (which is pretty often – split ends are a sin), I need people in my life who are going to upfront with me. There are so many moving pieces in my life that stable friends and associates are a necessity.

Speaking of associates (see what I did there), I’ve been involved with a guy for almost 5 months now. We met online (because NY is a social joke), went on a date, and just clicked. It had been awhile since I met someone who sparked my interest the way he did. Over the months we spent more time hanging out, getting to know each other, and simply enjoying each other. About midway through, the reality that I am not his only one, simply part of his starting line-up, started to settle in. After putting my superb research skills to test, I found a very active OkCupid profile. At one point I invited him on a date (which was a really big deal for me) and he basically ignored the offer. One couldn’t help but wonder that he was too busy with the next chick to even consider me. I basically begged him to be upfront with me about the other people he was involved with and he never took the opportunity to tell me his full truth. At this point, I took a step back, re-assessed my feelings, and decided to simply enjoy our time together. I also gave myself until the end of the year to make a decision on him.

Fast forward to about a month ago, things are great between us. I like him; he likes me. We’re having fun, but I can tell that he might be growing actual feelings for me. This is great for me, but it turns out to be a huge obstacle. A few days ago he tells me that he’s essentially in love with his best friend and while he does like me, he’s not interested in a relationship………..with me. How fucked up is that? What made this exchange even more shitty is that I never asked him for more than what we had at the moment. I never asked to be his girlfriend. He just had this sudden desire to be completely honest with me. He started with “I don’t want to hurt you”. Anytime your partner starts anything with “I don’t want to hurt you”, prepare for flying bullshit. I even considered getting him a Christmas gift.IMG_1075

Initially I was really sad, but then anger reared her beautiful head. There were so many questions around his timing. I felt like he decided to be honest with me because his dishonesty was eating at him. He was growing actual feelings for me and had to control them. His act was purely selfish, because he did not tell me the truth when I asked for it. He told me the truth out of fear.

So why is this the greatest gift? Now that I know his truth, I can make a more informed decision on what to do with him. I feel like there is always a lesson to learn with this guy.